The Zen of Caregiving

Risks of Surgery for Patients with Alzheimer's or Dementia

We are considering surgery for my husband Adrian to repair compression on his spinal cord in the neck area.  His brother-in-law and nephew had the same operation years ago, very successfully.  If Adrian doesn't get it, he will gradually (no one can predict how long) lose the ability to move his  arms and legs.  He is also in more danger of real harm when falling.

What I have heard and read is that any kind of surgery under anasthesia can cause worsening dementia in the elderly.  Adrian and I are frightened of this possible outcome, but at the same time, I would hate to seem him lose any more mobility. 

We've gotten a lot of information from doctors lately, but unless you have a medical degree yourself, you can't really understand the situation accurately.  That means you have to rely on your instincts or a doctor you trust.  The doctor we trust says there are risks either way and that she can't make the decision for us. 

The worst part for Adrian is that he can't keep all the data in his head in order to sort it out.  So he has to rely on the people around him.  I worry about letting him down, either way.

We have one more surgeon to talk to, and we can continue to get third and fourth opinions.  But I don't think we'll really get any more understanding.

Holiday Respite for Caregivers

It's important for caregivers to get some respite  on holidays.  We're spending ours with one of Adrian's sons and his family, so I am not the one "on call" 24 hours a day.  Not only do I get some time off, but I get to see that I am really NOT indispensable. 

It's easy to get over-stressed on the holidays by adding a lot of cooking and baking chores to an already-filled day.  Or driving long distances while stressed. 

This year I decided to drive more slowly, to stop more often, and to actually look at the scenery around me.  Much of it was a snow-covered landscape, which is beautiful and lovely to see when it isn't in your face or on the roads.

I arrived at our son's house feeling rested rather than over-stressed.  That's a good way to start the holiday!

P.S.  I did not bake the cookies I'd planned to.  And it was OK.