The Zen of Caregiving

At last, Caregiver Respite Arrives

For over four weeks I've been dealing with Adrian's bike accident.  While he is much recuperated, he is still  more frail and slower than he was before the accident.  Yet he still wanted to make the trip alone to California to spend a week with his son and family.

Hurray! 

Sorry, it's just that I don't get relief that often and this time I really need it.  (Caregivers always need the respite whenever they can get it.)

Adrian was very nervous for the last two days, so we packed early in order to help him feel prepared.  Of course, he kept wanting to review everything, to know what I'd put in his backpack and to repack it. 

He practiced using his cellphone, but I assured him that he didn't need to use it if he forgot how to.  I stayed with him until he got on the plane in Ithaca.  His son will be there when he gets off the plane in San Francisco.  The airline is supposed to get him from one gate to the next in Philadelphia.

Some people would say he shouldn't make this trip alone, that he is too frail and forgetful to handle it.  I would agree if Adrian said he did not want to do it.  But he does.  He flies alone a couple times a year and has always managed fine.  It is just getting harder each time.

This may be the last.  I will be sure to enjoy my week home alone.

When the Level of Care Increases

Three weeks ago Adrian had an accident with his bicycle and fell onto it, cutting his head, hurting his body, and knocking his glasses off.  He managed to walk his bike home, but when I saw him, he and the bike were covered in blood.

I'm not very good in emergencies, and panicked when we could not get the bleeding over his eye to stop.  I called a neighbor for help getting to the emergency room, and she told me to call 911, which I did.  The EMTs arrived quickly and said I had done the right thing.  They couldn't get the bleeding to stop either.

The emergency room was very busy, and as soon as they got OK results from a cat scan of Adrian's head, they released him.  He was dizzy and nauseous, and soon fell again in the bathroom.  Two days later he fell again. 

He must have torn a ligament in his elbow and either cracked a rib or done something else which caused pain behind his shoulder blade.  For three weeks now he's been on pain pills to get through the evening and night.  I have to get up periodically to get him a pill or help him get in and out of bed.  He can't wear pullover shirts any more. 

The level of care Adrian required since the accident has increased greatly, and that combined with sleep deprivation has made me cranky at times.  It is both easier and harder to do the extra caregiving.  Easier because I can see he's in pain and the physical things he needs me to do are obvious.  Harder because the extra work and lack of sleep have taken me out of my usual routine. 

Adrian is supposed to visit a son in California soon, and I just hope he makes it.  I can use the rest.