Maybe I should have watched a movie.

The great thing about movies, and books too, when they're working for you, is that they take you into a different world.  That means you're out of this one.

Oh, how I long to be out of this one sometimes, like now, when I'm thinking about how I don't know what to do about being depressed about Adrian having Alzheimer's and our lives together.  Our lives that might be physically together, but are separate lonely non-encounters where neither one of us wants to be there.

I'm sitting here crying on a Sunday afternoon, weeping because I don't have the strength.  Weeping because meditation isn't enough to get me through this.  Weeping because I should have watched a movie instead of thinking about this shit.