Stumble It!
Yes, I admit I'm depressed this week, and not seeing any way out of my dilemma. When you are facing years of caregiving with a spouse whose Alzheimer's or other dementia is progressing slowly, who is in otherwise excellent health and destined to live a long life, what other way out is there???
Studies show that the caregiver often dies before the person they are caring for. Supposedly this is because of the stress they are under on a daily basis. As loving spouses, children, brothers or sisters, they cannot imagine abandoning their loved one or institutionalizing them. In addition, family and friends of the caregiver do not comprehend the magnitude of the problem, and do not offer enough support.
It's not just that. For me to send Adrian to stay with one of his four sons, for example, feels like a rejection by Adrian. Why do I need a break from him? So while I do, and do send him off when I can, I still feel guilty about it. If I take care of myself, I hurt Adrian's feelings, and thus the ongoing guilt no matter what.
I can't leave because I love him and care about his welfare. I can't stay because it's killing me. Thus, the dilemma.
Can meditation and mindfulness really help with this? I'm seeing my therapist today. Then I'm going for a walk in one of our beautiful state parks with my sister.
