Stumble It!
Adrian has been a good husband for 27 years. Taking care of him, no matter what that entails, is my obligation, my duty, my burden, my prison sentence of indeterminate length.
That's how I was thinking and feeling about caregiving before zen, and it almost drove me crazy. I had crying jags and screaming fits, and even considered signing myself into the psych ward in order to get out of doing it. "If I'm crazy, they can't make me!"
Out of desperation I started going to group meditations on Sunday mornings, reading books like The Power of Now, and taking quiet time for myself in the mornings to read and meditate. That is, I try to meditate. Quieting my mind for even a few seconds is a gift I cherish.
But I know I am on the right path. Instead of seeing caregiving as a burden, I see it as an opportunity for self growth. I am learning patience. I am learning to breathe. I am learning to let go.
