Stumble It!
It's hard sometimes when we give and give and give, not to get upset when our loved one gets angry at us or says something inappropriate. The other day Adrian said to me, "I'm not sure I can trust you."
I waited, without reacting.
"But I'm not sure I trust anyone," he continued. "I guess everyone feels that way."
"No," I said gently. "Everyone doesn't feel that way. I think it's a touch of paranoia you're experiencing."
"Maybe you're right," he admitted.
The important thing was that I stayed calm, did not get defensive, and did not say, "You're paranoid." He knows from past experience that he sometimes lets paranoia take charge, so he was ready to consider this.
I must say that a couple of months ago, I don't think I'd have handled this as well. Self-righteous indignation or panicked defensiveness was my usually mode of response in the past. I'm trying to learn a new way.
