Helping children to love those with memory disorders

As hard as it is for adults to deal with parents and grandparents with Alzheimer's or other forms of dementia, imagine how hard it is for children.  Some younger children may not be aware of the changes, and actually make good "playmates" for these elderly relatives.  But a child who is old enough to notice and miss the usual attention received, may wonder why grandma or grandpa no longer seems to care about them.

When my granddaughter was 3 or 4 years old, my father loved to watch her play, follow her at the playground, and "catch" her as she came off the slide.  She hadn't known him when he was different, and accepted him just as he was.

For older children who are dismayed by the changes in grandparents with memory disorders, a new book called Hugging Grandma by Zina Kramer offers a wonderful way to introduce this difficult topic.  Beginning by telling all the things she loves to do with her grandma before she is afflicted with Alzheimer's, the child narrator then expresses her sadness with the change:  "What's wrong with Grandma?  Doesn't she love me any more?"

With help from her mother, the little girl learns to give back to grandma the love and care she was given, by helping her feel useful and wanted.  The wonderful illustrations by Dave Messing help make this book a moving, gentle, and comforting story for children and adults alike. 

The book includes a note to parents and a list of suggestions for interacting with grandparents who have memory disorders.