Nervous and Jumpy

I feel so nervous and jumpy. Tomorrow is 06/06/06, and Eloise, my Christian friend, has warned me that the beast is coming.

Last night I had the desire to escape from my life.  I’ve been in Ithaca for six years now, and even though we moved to a new house and neighborhood last summer, it still feels claustrophobic.  I need to get on the road, to get away, to make a fresh start in a place where no one knows my name.

Oh this is so ridiculous.  I want to slap myself aside the head.  I have everything I always wanted except fame, fortune and eternal youth. 

Sometimes I think I should just give it all up—painting, writing, striving.  That could be the door to a new life—a life of nothingness.  Maybe then I could find that zen moment, as it all blends into a dull monolithic stasis. 

I don’t think so.

Comments

[Jon]

It sounds like we're in similar places right now. Don't do anything radical. It was a struggle for me to keep from walking out of work today, so tomorrow I'm calling in sick and recovering. It will pass...